Sorry, I am Just Not Into It
Yet.
Maybe it’s the last two years that have just taken a toll on my Christmas Soul, but I am just not into Christmas this year.
I put up my tree and it looks worse than Charlie Brow’s tree, Even Bruno, the wonder dog, doesn’t like it.
I hung my stocking with care and listened to Christmas tunes from yesteryear and I think I have just had enough of Paul McCartney singing “Wonderful Christmas Time”. UGHHH.
I used to love this time of year and welcomed all of those great Christmas favorites. “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” by Burl Ives or “Christmas” by Darlene Love. Those songs brought back great memories but it seems I just can’t motivate for Christmas this year.
If I hear Mariah Carey or Madonna sing another uninspired song I may puke. Seriously. Don’t you think it’s time for some of these present day artists to come up with new classics? I think the last really good original Christmas song I have heard is The Pogues “Fairytale of New York”. If you listen to the lyrics, it is really a mixed bag of depressing and uplifting all wrapped up into a neat little song. Or maybe “Merry Christmas Everybody” by Oasis will fit the bill. I don’t know.
I have a whole alternative Christmas playlist and to be honest, some of the songs are actually pretty good but for the most part, none of those songs were written or performed within the last 25 years. So what gives? Why do the artists of today not even attempt to write something Christmasy? I have my own theories about that and it only partially has to do with the fact that very few artists today sound original or have any talent whatsoever.
Anyway, maybe if I sit down and put all my Netflix serial killer docuseries to the side and focus on some Christmas movies, It might spark my inner Tiny Tim and get rid of my Bad Santa. Maybe a night on The Hallmark Channel or Lifetime will get me in the spirit.
With the Christmas spirit still buried somewhere deep inside me I have decided to come up with a list of Christmas movies that will propel me towards the eggnog and out of the bathroom.
Let’s start with a set. “Holiday Inn”and “White Christmas” are two old movies that have always made me remember the love I had for this holiday. While both movies contain the classic “White Christmas”, the two movies were completely unrelated. If I were to pick a favorite, it would be “White Christmas”. Which was the first motion picture to be filmed in VistaVision which became the industry standard for many years after.
“National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” has to be included on must watch Christmas movies. If you dig deep into this movie, there are so many things we as Americans hate about ourselves. Always trying to be better than the next guy, commercialism, etc. I don’t look at movies that way however. I look to see if a movie is funny, and well acted. This movie has both. The Griswolds are us and we are them, just not as hilarious.
“Home Alone” is still one of the funniest Christmas movies ever. While some of the gags are completely stupid, they are still funny. Joe Peschi is not my idea of a funny guy but he is perfect as the bumbling burglar. When I need to forget about the World and how we are swiftly going down the proverbial toilet, I watch this one. Because you can never get enough of “Keep the change you filthy animal!”.
A lot of people love “ A Christmas Story” and I can see why. It is heartwarming and it touches some of the things we all complain about Christmas but yet we still go out and overreach. Me, I am not one of those people. I used to listen to Jean Shepard on the radio at night. His stories were so soothing and funny and occasionally thought provoking but in a gentle way. I remember listening to this story on the radio way before the movie was ever made and to tell you the truth, after listening to a great storyteller like Shepard, the movie just can’t compare.
Don’t laugh but “Office Christmas Party” is on my list for the simple reason, it was funny. Maybe there was a tale in there somewhere but after having worked on Wall Street for 40 years, I have gone to more than a few Christmas Parties that went off the rails (always after I left), and I could see this happening.
Ugh. Don’t ask where “Elf” is. I saw the movie once, my kids loved it and I thought it was ok. As the years went on, I realized that I just don’t like Will Ferrel all that much and I think his whole schtick has worn out. Plus, he ruined one of the classic movies of all time, “The Wedding Crashers”. So, I include it only because some of my readers love it. I am not one of them.
Now it’s time for “Bad Santa”. Yes, Billy Bob Thornton was the grumpiest, meanest drunkest Santa in motion picture history and you couldn’t have found a better actor to play this role. It was like it was written for him. This movie goes right along with my bah humbug theme and yet it ends on a much more pleasant note. I will watch it tonight for sure.
Sue me but I liked “Scrooged”. While I also think that Bill Murray’s whole act has worn thin he was at his best here. He is this vain studio boss and he has stepped on more people than pretty much any character in Hollywood history. He learns a lesson the hard way and Murray is perfect in the role. One of the best adaptations of the Dickens classic for sure.
Lastly. “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” with Jim Carrey was at times stupid and beyond believable and at time artistic amazing, but it still is the best long form version of the tale. Carey wears on people for sure, but there is no doubting his talent at transformation. Like all great Christmas stories, it has an arc going from disaster to redemption while taking the viewer on a magical ride watching Carrey transform into something The Grinch never expected.
It’s 16 days before Christmas and I hope one of these movies helps get me to that Christmas spirit we all remember.