Periodically I get in these moods. I want to just go find the artist who decided it was ok to record crap. Why do people who have some talent decide to write something so bad that it automatically induces a nauseous feeling and people like me have to call them on the carpet for it.
I have done this a few times over the past three years but I think it is incumbent upon me to continue writing about really, really bad music.
I have done the calculations and it really is safe to assume that 98% of recorded music is bad. That other 2% however is worth getting up in the morning to listen to and for that I am very thankful.
What I am not thankful for is the rest of it. Also, why do radio stations and SiriusXM radio still play some of these songs. Surely they must realize they suck. No?
I have only written about “Sister Christian” fifty times and I will not rest until this song disappears. Period.
Or any song by Asia. That band is horrible and not one song in their catalog is worth even giving a shot (I have). Terrible. I mean how could a legendary artist like Steve Howe ever think joining this band was a good thing?
Similar to Asia is Toto. WTF. Ugh. I never got the fascination for this band. I really don’t mind some pop anthems and I get why a group like Hall and Oats would succeed. So, I am not anti-pop, I am anti-crap and they produced crap.
Sometimes great bands veer into the unholy place of PopRock and unfortunately it tarnishes an otherwise stellar legacy. I am sure there hundreds, if not thousands, of examples of this phenomena.
One springs to mind immediately and that is Grand Funk Railroad. I get that this band was never a critical favorite but for a period of time between 1969 and 1971 they were one of the hottest bands on the planet and produced three excellent hard rock records and had some legendary live performances but that ended in 1972-1973. They went to pop pablum and their fate was sealed in my eyes. They did sell millions of records after ‘72 but just give a listen to We’re an American Band. The title track alone should be banned and the rest is filler. That’s how bad this album is, the biggest song on the album is quite possibly the worst rock song ever recorded and the rest is filler. The mighty fall very hard.
Same exact thing happened to the Jefferson Airplane, which morphed somehow into the Jefferson Starship and produced bad album after bad album until someone said “Enough is Enough” and Marty Balin went into the woods to never be heard from again and Grace Slick haunts the 7 Republicans that still live in San Fransisco. Ugh. The only exception is “Miracles” which is a beautiful song and still holds up today so I guess it’s not a total waste of talent.
My next choice for calling it quits is Stevie Nicks. Before I torch her, let me give credit where credit is do. She is a legendary member of a legendary band, Fleetwood Mac, and her role in that band was key to it’s success. Her songwriting, her vocals and her input in production of the bands biggest records can not be overlooked. That being said, she has produced so many bad solo songs. Her songs are virtually unlistenable, that is why she has to be included on this list. A couple of years ago I brought this up and mentioned some of her solo work and since then (thanks to SiriusXM’s love for her) I have heard more and they are as equally as bad. It just seems like she gets a poem and decides to sing the lines of that poem. That would be fine if the poet was Bob Dylan or Van Morrison but it’s her lyrics and they are horrible. Stick with the Fleetwood Mac hits.
Even though these next two bands really have little in common I think it fits. Maroon 5 and the Foo Fighters. Ugh. Unlistenable trash. I get the whole Dave Grohl thing. I like him, I think he is very talented, he’s funny and he doesn’t take himself too seriously but for God’s sake write a decent song. Adam LeVine is nowhere near as talented yet this guy is everywhere. Stop pushing him. I did a long listen to the bands music, what garbage. They think they are a rock and roll band but they are not.
Now I may be in the minority on this one but I have never thought Kansas was all that. They dominated the airwaves in the early 70’s and produced some lavishly intricate pieces that moved them ahead of other bands of that era but I just never thought they were that good. What they would do and I am sure if you met any member of the band they would deny it, would be to release one possible hit per album and then fill the album with the bands attempt at sophistication. Pompous journeys that made no sense and were basically ten minute attempts at being King Crimson. I do love a great 10 minute song but not one of their songs could ever be considered great.
A band I tried to like but ended up hating was April Wine. I really did try, back in the 70’s. Not one song. Nothing. I am not saying they are bad, I can’t really say that, but I could not find any song that i actually would want to listen to again. How is that even possible? They released like 17 albums. They had to have something. Nothing!
In that same vein, Nazareth, was another band that released a slew of albums and yet I can’t find one redeeming thing about them. Not one song. It is like every song they wrote was filler material and they had dedicated fans that would buy anything.
Throw rocks at me again for the the next group. KISS, Foreigner, REO Speedwagon and Journey. Now these four groups all had/have loyal followings and a number of hits but if you look at their overal production. They all share one thing, their records stink.
My last choice for this go around is one I think I have thrown around in my head for a long time, Aerosmith. I could make a case for having some of the best rock and roll and a case for some of the worst rock and roll as well. I base my thoughts on the fact that after having listened to the band for the better part of my life, I think they have produced more lousy music than good music. By a ratio of about 8-1. That would tell you one thing, they are only capable of producing a small number of great songs. This is a tough choice but after listening to Pump, Get a Grip and Honkin on Bobo, I realized that they just were a pretty good rock and roll band out Boston and that’s it.
Thank You, Thank You, and....Thank You for the smiles! I'm glad we didn't go to college together, both of us would have failed.